I have 3 hours of commute to my job each day. I wrote this ditty to the tune of "Rawhide":

Rollin', rollin', rollin',
Traffic's barely strollin',
And my blood is boilin', no lie.

They call this a freeway
Listen to the dee-jay
"Give yourself some leeway on the FIVE."

CHORUS:
Hit the gas, hit the brake
Hit the brake, hit the gas
Hit the gas, hit the brake, I-5!
Change your lane! What a pain!
Try to merge! But in vain!
It's insane! Driving the I-5.

Bladder's slowly fillin'
Sphincter's quite unwillin'
Thinking about spillin', outside

Traffic can't be deader
If things don't get better
I will sure get wetter, this ride

Chorus